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Let's Celebrate All People and Spread a Message of Love

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 15:09:42 +0100

With the recent teen suicide related to bullying and the recent anti-gay campaign by a local church, I am reminded of the reason it is important to spread love. A local church is spreading the message that “being gay is NOT a gift from God.” I wonder if they are aware of who may really be reading this billboard. I wonder if they considered the idea that a young person who is facing coming out is reading this sign. This sign is reinforcing the message that so many young people are already receiving from their peers, their families, their churches, and the media. And now, they get to read it on the side of the road. This could possibly be on the way home from a long day of being picked on at school. When they return home maybe they will have to hear negative messages from their families. This message can easily be interpreted into “You are not a gift from God. There is something innately wrong with you. Have no hope, you do not deserve love and respect.” As an advocate for anti-bullying, this not only makes me upset, but it’s infuriating.

I want to lift people up. I believe whole heartedly that Jesus wanted to lift people up. His message shows that it is important to lead by example and love everyone unconditionally whether or not they meet your expectations. Jesus said specifically, “love your neighbor as yourself.” What part of love includes bullying? Jesus would not have gone out of His way to publicly scrutinize anyone. Instead, He would reach out.

As far as homosexuality being a sin, I say this: Humans were not all meant to be the same. God’s plan is not the same for each person. I question how one individual can know God’s plan for another individual. Our route in life is between us and our Creator. The stories used against us can easily be translated to argue many different negative and positive things. But there is never a rule in the Bible that specifically states “homosexuality is a sin.” The love between two individuals is only between them, and their Creator.

Remember, A Child Is Listening

Wed, 18 May 2011 13:12:54 +0100

I recently watched the movie Prayers for Bobby, and I was very moved by this story. The movie is based on the true story of Bobby Griffith and his family. In it Bobby experiences many challenges as he shares his life more completely. It is particularly challenging for Bobby to affirm his gay identity because his family vehemently believes that homosexuality is a sin, based on their religious teachings. His mother receives the news particularly hard and takes it on as her mission to help Bobby to cure his sin. Eventually, things get very tense between Bobby and his family, and the resulting stress leads Bobby to commit suicide.

It is important for me to share this movie and my reaction to it because this story is all too familiar. My friends watching the movie commented that it was "suicide by parents." This is quite a harsh representation of the story, but it rings true in this story and in the experiences of many young LGBT people who have chosen to end their lives. In the story, Mary Griffith is not at peace with her son's death. She searches and searches for the answers, and ultimately comes to the conclusion that indeed she and her husband were responsible for Bobby's death.

She eloquently stated, "I deeply regret my lack of knowledge about gay and lesbian people. I see that everything I was taught and told was bigotry and dehumanizing slander. If I had just listened to my son when he poured his heart out to me I would not be standing here today with you filled with regret. I believe that God was pleased with Bobby's kind and loving spirit. In God's eyes kindness and love are what it's all about. I did not know that each time I echoed eternal damnation for gay people. Each time I referred to Bobby as sick, and perverted, and a danger to our children, his self esteem and his sense of worth were being destroyed. His spirit broke beyond repair. It was not God's will that Bobby climbed over the side of a freeway overpass and jumped directly into the path of an 18-wheeler truck which killed him instantly. Bobby's death was a direct result of his parents ignorance and fear of the word gay." You can see the complete scene on Youtube .

The transformation that Mary went through to arrive at these words was extremely challenging for her and her family. However, she needed the answers. Along the way she was supported by some people she had never reached out to in the past. These were other parents and friends of gay and lesbian people. It was her local PFLAG chapter that helped her to revise her understanding and interpretations of her religious teachings. She also sought out religious answers from the Metropolitan Community Church. Combined, these resources helped her to cure her ignorance of gay and lesbian people, albeit much too late.

Recently, some billboards have been displayed in the Toledo area that send a powerful and positive message to everyone, but especially to religious communities. The Central United Methodist Church has initiated a campaign called, "Being Gay is a Gift from God" as a "prophetic call to the Church to get out of the business of marginalizing gay and lesbian persons from the Church, and to welcome them as full members." Signs like this, no pun intended, show that society is progressing. However, signs like this also remind us about the ignorant oppositional voices. There is no shortage of people commenting against the signs. Regardless of these oppositional voices, it is refreshing to know there are churches making strides to include and support all people in their worship. For a list of other gay-friendly and affirming churches in Ohio please visit this link.

I mention these resources, because if there is anyone reading this blog that just does not know where to turn, I am certain you can find help at the places mentioned above. Just click on the link and you are on your way to a plethora of resources. If you are a parent who has just learned of a child's LGBT identity, please seek out these resources. They will help you to cope and to educate yourself about how best to support your child. If you are an LGBT person, look to these resources as an access point to community. I know I have found great support in making friends and interacting with others in the LGBT community. It has helped me to know myself and to learn my history.

To end this entry I would again like to quote Mary Griffith, "There are children like Bobby sitting in your congregations. Unknown to you they will be listening as you echo Amen, and that will soon silence their prayers. Their prayers to God for understanding, and acceptance, and for your love. But your hatred and fear and ignorance of the word gay will silence those prayers. So, before you echo Amen in your home and place of worship. Think, think and remember a child is listening."

Equality for all: We Must Protect all LGBTQ Youth from Bullying and Suicide

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 22:26:43 +0100

The recent suicidal deaths of several LGBTQ or perceived LGBTQ individuals greatly sadden us at EqualityToledo. Our heartfelt condolences go out to the families, friends and loved ones of those individuals who have recently died. The recent news reports tell us about Billy Lucas, 15, who hanged himself on 9/9/10 at his Indiana home after years of reported harassment by students who judged him to be gay. Asher Brown, a 13-year-old in Harris, TX, who had reportedly recently come out, took his life with a gun on 9/23/10 after years of being picked on for his size, religion, clothing and perception that he was gay. Seth Walsh, a 13-year-old in Tehachapi, CA, who passed away on 9/28/10 after 9 days on life support from hanging himself. Police reported he had been mercilessly taunted by fellow students over his perceived sexual orientation. Tyler Clementi, 18, a Rutgers freshman, who leapt to his death on 9/22/10 from the George Washington Bridge after a roommate allegedly broadcast him via the Internet in a same-sex encounter behind closed doors in his dorm room. And Raymond Chase, a 19-year-old openly gay sophomore from Johnson and Wales, who hanged himself in his dorm room on 9/29/10.

Also, last week, in our own State, Tyler Wilson, an 11-year-old boy in Findlay was taunted with homophobic remarks and had his arm broken by two schoolmates who apparently assumed him to be gay because he decided to join a cheerleading squad that had been all-female. As a gymnast, he was interested in the athletic elements of cheering. Since returning to school, he's been threatened with having his other arm broken, too.

EqualityToledo is committed to continuing its work to protect and defend young people against bullying in schools and universities through our Safe Schools Project. While we know these are not new occurrences, the recent media attention around bullying of LGBTQ youth reminds us all of the seriousness of bullying and the fact that LGBTQ young people do not feel safe, accepted or protected.

Judy Shepard of the Matthew Shepard Foundations stated it well in her recent appeal: “Our young people deserve better than to go to schools where they are treated this way. We have to make schools a safe place for our youth to prepare for their futures, not be confronted with threats, intimidation or routine disrespect.

Quite simply, we are calling one more time for all Americans to stand up and speak out against taunting, invasion of privacy, violence and discrimination against these youth by their peers, and asking everyone in a position of authority in their schools and communities to step forward and provide safe spaces and support services for LGBT youth or those who are simply targeted for discrimination because others assume they are gay. There can never be enough love and acceptance for these young people as they seek to live openly as their true selves and find their role in society.

Suicide is a complicated problem and it is too easy to casually blame it on a single factor in a young person's life, but it is clear that mistreatment by others has a tremendously negative effect on a young person's sense of self worth and colors how he or she sees the world around them. Parents, educators and peers in the community need to be vigilant to the warning signs of suicide and other self-destructive behaviors in the young people in their lives, and help them find resources to be healthy and productive.”

We echo these sentiments. EqualityToledo’s Safe School Project is continuing to work to protect and defend LGBTQ young people in schools and universities. We are working to increase awareness so these senseless deaths that stemmed from bullying and harassment can be eliminated. We strive to live in a society where our youth can be who they are. We encourage your activism and support because we cannot do this work alone.

For additional resources to any LGBT youth contemplating suicide, we urge you to immediately reach out to The Trevor Project, day or night, at (866) 4-U-TREVOR [866-488-7386] or visit http://www.thetrevorproject.org/. The Trevor Project is a nonprofit endeavor established to promote acceptance of LGBTQ youth, and to aid in suicide prevention among LGBTQ young people.

Sincerely,

Sherry Tripepi, Executive Director

EqualityToledo